Intimate Relationship

• Happier and healthier ppl. are more attractive to potential Relationship Partners
• IR offers protection effects

• Ppl. are seen as more attractive if they have small flaws they feel a bit embarssed about: Other can relate to them better -> everyone think they're perfect with small flaws
• Maybe similarity is respnsible for the Plattfall Effect: Ppl. are more attracted to ppl. with the same background and values
• Similarity matters less when it comes to personality

The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things or ppl. merely because they are familiar with them. In social psychology, this effect is sometimes called the familiarity principle.

Tree ingredients determine the kinde of love people feel for each other:

• Intimacy
• Commitment
• Passion

Neither intimacy, passion, or commitment are present. No connection. Indifference.

Passion without intimacy or commitment. Sometimes referred to as “puppy love” or a crush. Romantic relationships often start out this way and turn into romantic love over time. However, this evolution doesn’t always happen and this type of love is also known to sometimes spontaneously end and disappear, leaving nothing else in its place

Commitment without passion or intimacy. This can happen in instances when someone is desperate for a long-term commitment for other reasons (marriage, children, financial stability, etc.) but doesn’t actually connect with their partner and forces it. It also can be an evolution in a relationship over time that starts out with passion, intimacy, or both but loses those elements.

Passion and intimacy but no commitment. (When this kind of love is also committed, it’s another type — consummate love. See #8 below.)

Intimacy and commitment but with no passion. Certain close friendships (best friends, long-time friends, etc.) fall into this category. This category also includes long-term relationships where passion is no longer present, but the members still feel bonded and connected in other ways. The love someone feels for family members that they’re close to also falls into this category.

Passion and commitment but no intimacy. Typically this looks like a brief passionate period of New Relationship Energy followed by a serious commitment (marriage, moving in together, etc.) before the people involved have a chance to really get to know one another and bond on a non-passionate level.

Love that includes all three elements: Intimacy, passion, and commitment. This is the idealized romantic love that is shown to us in books and movies. What we’re inculcated from a young age to consider

#RelationshipGoals. In his research, Sternberg found that while this state of love does occur in some relationships, it rarely is sustained permanently and is instead a state that comes and goes even in an ideal relationship, replaced with other forms of love at times when one or more pieces of the triangle temporarily disappear.

Men and women differ in size of theri Parental Investment

• Women are able to have limited numbers of children
• Tend to be the primary care giver until offspring is independent
• Men can father more children in short period

Women: Physically, psychologically and socially strong mates with resources + intension to stay

Men: Prefer women who invest only in their children (not others)

• Secure
• Preoccupied
• Fearful
• Dismission

Working Models guide strategies to regulate social relationships + interpersonal regulation of own emotions also they shape cognitions + behaviors in relationships

Wighin rewards and costs

• Financial and nonmaterial

Being satisfied is not being commited!

Commitment: Intention to remain in IR

Are exchanged behaviors rewarded? -> repeate behavior

Why do ppl. engange in negative behavior?

They get attention for it.

Broader context as stressors (work...)

Macrosystem: Nationality

Mesosystem: Culture

Migrosystem: Family

• Openness to experience (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious) (inconsistant)
• Conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless)
• Extraversion (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved)
• Agreeableness (friendly/compassionate vs. challenging/detached)
• Neuroticism (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident)

• Looks at ppl. IR with primary caregivers
• Ppl. develop working models of attachemnt:
  • Secure
  • Preoccupied
  • Fearful
  • Dismissing

These working models guide strategies to regulate social RS

Behaviours that helped ppls. genes survive

Successful behaviour for men: Large no. of sexual partners. Engaging in aggressive behaviour to help protect partners + offspring.

Successful behaviour for women: Small number of sexual partner. providing care for offstirngs, ensuring that sexual partner stay

Gender differences arise due to social expectations. Pressue of society rather than pressure of genes. Help explain many gender differences in behaviour.

Partner A's high workload impact partner B

Extradyadic Stress -> Intradyadic Stress